The internet, in its infinite and often bewildering wisdom, is a factory for surrealism. It’s a place where algorithms and human randomness collide to create artifacts that defy explanation, yet feel strangely profound. The latest piece of evidence to be entered into the digital record is a comic so perfectly bizarre, it feels less like a joke and more like a glimpse into an alternate universe.
Behold: A panel featuring the absolute pinnacle of 1980s American hyper-masculinity, the WWE legend Macho Man Randy Savage, standing opposite… the terrifying, biomechanical, and deeply traumatizing EVA-03 from the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion.
The caption? A simple, glorious: “Macho Man vs. EVA III…”
There are no follow-up panels. No punchline. No explanation. Just the sheer, unadulterated cognitive whiplash of this impossible face-off. This isn’t just a comic; it’s a philosophical crisis waiting to happen. Let’s break down why this image is a masterpiece of modern comedy.
Act I: A Tale of Two Titans
To understand the sheer brilliance of this matchup, you need to appreciate the cultural chasm between these two figures.
In the Red Corner: Macho Man Randy Savage
Randy Savage wasn’t just a wrestler; he was a force of nature packaged in sequins and a bandana. He was the man who spoke in a gravelly, apocalyptic shout, peppering his promos with cosmic vernacular. He was the cream of the crop, the tower of power, too sweet to be sour! He was a spectacle of human excess—muscles upon muscles, a fashion sense that screamed “exploded rainbow,” and an intensity that could power a small city. His entire philosophy was built on sheer, unadulterated MACHO MADNESS. He was, in essence, the human spirit dialed up to eleven and then given a megaphone.
In the Purple/Black Corner: EVA-03
From the other side of the Pacific comes EVA-03, a being that represents the absolute antithesis of Macho Man’s bombast. This is not a person; it’s a cyborg, a synthetic humanoid weapon piloted by a 14-year-old boy, designed to fight unknowable cosmic horrors known as Angels. Its arrival in the anime is not a triumphant entrance; it’s the start of one of the most harrowing, gut-wrenching, and psychologically devastating sequences in all of animation. EVA-03 doesn’t represent human triumph. It represents existential dread, the horror of losing control, and the crushing weight of parental and societal expectations. It is, in essence, the embodiment of COSMIC DESPAIR.
Placing these two in the same ring isn’t just a fight. It’s a cultural atom bomb.
The Promo We All Deserve to Hear
One can only imagine the pre-fight hype. The camera shakes. A wild-eyed Macho Man, clad in a stars-and-stripes leotard, grabs the microphone.
“OH YEAH!” he begins, spittle flying. “THE CREAM OF THE CROP, THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE, IS HERE TO TAME YOUR BEAST, DIGITIZED DADDY! WHILE YOU’RE SITTIN’ IN YOUR NERV HEADQUARTERS, PUSHIN’ BUTTONS AND WHISPERIN’ YOUR PSYCHOBABBLE, THE MACHO MAN IS TRAININ’ ON A DIET OF PURE HUSTLE, LOYALTY, AND RESPECT! YOU SEND THAT OVERGROWN GRAPE OF A ROBOT DOWN HERE, AND THE MACHO MAN’S GONNA PILOT IT STRAIGHT TO THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL, YEAH!
YOU THINK YOUR ANGELS ARE BAD? YOU AIN’T SEEN THE WRATH OF THE MACHOMANIACS! SO TAKE YOUR AT-FIELDS AND YOUR LANCE OF LONGINUS, AND SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! OOOOOOH YEEEEEAH!“
On the other side, Gendo Ikari, Commander of NERV, would simply adjust his glasses, let a sliver of light glint off the lenses, and mutter, “Pathetic.”
The Battle: Oooooh Yeah vs. Oh No
How would this fight even go? Let’s speculate.
Round 1: The EVA-03, having been activated and immediately possessed by an Angel, charges with monstrous, uncontrollable fury. It’s fast, it’s powerful, it’s a being of pure destructive energy.
Macho Man doesn’t flinch. He sees the charging behemoth, drops to one knee, and points a single, accusing finger. “YOU! YOU’RE HEADED FOR THE TOP ROPE, BUT THE MACHO MAN IS THE JANITOR OF JUSTICE, AND HE’S CLEANIN’ HOUSE! OOOOOH YEAH!”
Round 2: The EVA-03 extends its AT Field, an absolute defensive barrier that can withstand nuclear explosions.
Macho Man simply flexes. The AT Field shatters like glass. “YOU CAN’T DEFEND AGAINST THE POWER OF MADNESS, BROTHER! THE CREAM ALWAYS RISES TO THE TOP, AND YOUR LITTLE FORCE FIELD JUST GOT SKIM MED! YEAH!”
Round 3: The EVA-03, now in its horrific, mutated Angel form, attempts to physically crush him.
This is where Savage would unveil his finishing move. He wouldn’t use a Proton Pack or a Lance of Longinus. He’d use the most powerful weapon in his arsenal: The Flying Elbow Drop. He’d ascend the top turnbuckle of a conveniently placed skyscraper, let out a primal “OOOOOOH YEEEEAH!” that echoes across the geo-front, and launch himself through the air, a glittering comet of pure machismo, driving his pointy elbow directly into the EVA’s core.
The EVA-03 would immediately short-circuit, not from physical damage, but from the sheer, incomprehensible power of Savage’s charismatic energy. It would simply bluescreen, an error message flashing across its visor:
The Deeper Meaning: What Does It All Mean?
This comic is funny because it’s so jarringly random. But on a deeper level, it’s a perfect allegory for two different ways of confronting the abyss.
- EVA-03’s World: Problems are complex, psychological, and require giant robots, existential dread, and a willingness to confront the horrifying nature of the human condition. The solution is often messy, traumatic, and involves a lot of crying.
- Macho Man’s World: Problems are things you jump off the top rope onto. The solution is to be louder, more colorful, and more intense than whatever is in front of you. The human condition is something you “snap into.”
In our own lives, we face our own EVA-03s: daunting projects, personal anxieties, bureaucratic nightmares. We can approach them with the grim, serious determination of a NERV operative, or we can channel our inner Macho Man. We can put on our most ridiculous metaphorical outfit, shout our own hype into the void, and attempt to defeat cosmic horror with a well-executed Flying Elbow Drop of enthusiasm.
The comic, in its infinite wisdom, suggests that sometimes, the only appropriate response to an incomprehensible and terrifying universe is to look it dead in the eye, puff out your chest, and scream, “OOOOOOH YEEEEEAH!”
So the next time life sends a possessed biomechanical horror your way, don’t panic. Don’t over-analyze. Just dig deep, find your macho madness, and elbow-drop your problems into oblivion. The cream always rises to the top, brother
